new zealand electronic poetry centre
  

John Dolan 

Friday 23 August  7.30-10pm  once and for all
Saturday 24 August 10.15 11.30am  scoop:  ten poets read new poems
Sunday 25 August 12 1.15pm  poets on poets


 
John Dolan has a PhD in rhetoric from the University of California at Berkeley and has held various jobs, including attack-dog handler at a truckyard in Oakland.

He has published poems in many US and New Zealand literary journals and his first collection won the Berkeley Poetry Prize in 1988.

John now lives in Dunedin where he is a senior lecturer in the English Department at the University of Otago and has researched or supervised work on topics as diverse as poetry by contemporary NZ women; Brian Turner; eighteenth-century forger-authors; and marine biology/journalism.

He is preparing for publication a new collection, Find the Leopard in this Picture, scheduled for early 2003, and is a stalwart of the contemporary Dunedin poetry scene. Previous books published in New Zealand include Stuck Up (AUP, 1995).


HOW I KILLED THE MOUSE

Hey you know what happened?  This thing.  This thing.  Happened.  In my house?  In the...oven.  There was this.  Noise?  In the oven.  In my house.  And it wouldn't; wouldn't; stop?  And I put a mouse...trap.  Because I I thought it was a...mouse?  And.  Nothing happened?  And it keeped up.  And I went there back the next, the next day and it keeped up?  And I grabbed the oven and go WHAM WHAM WHAM!

And you know what?  It keeped up.  And I got really really MAD!  Really really really really mad.  And I figured out a way where, how I could, where I got it back--the mouse.

Guess what I did!  Guess!  Guess!

No!  Nope nope nope!

I TURNED THE OVEN ON SUPER HIGH!!!!!!

And it was in the oven and it couldn't get out and it went SKRICH SKRICH  SKRICH and it didn't work and it couldn't get out because the oven the oven the oven isn't all wood it's like it's hard all white and hard like on a bathtub instead of like wood and you can't chew it so it was the mouse was going SKRICH SKRICH SKRICH all faster and it couldn't get out and the oven was got all hotter and hotter and hotter

And you know what?

IT DIDN'T KILL IT!

So I turned offed it the oven and it was asleep or hiding in the oven and I didn't make any noise so after a while it thought I went away somewhere and it started up again SKRICH SKRICH SKRICH--

And I got really mad and guess what I did!

I got all this newspaper big all crumbled them in a ball and I put them in the roasting tray for turkeys or something at the bottom and I lit a match and then put them in like I was cooking them at the bottom and they BURNDED AND BURNDED and it made all this SMOKE and it went all over the oven in even the little place where the mouse was and it smoked up into it and  KILLED IT!

YAY FOR ME!!!!!!!

 

from Find the Leopard in This Picture, forthcoming from Auckland UP, 2003.

 

© John Dolan

 



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Last updated 18 July, 2002